.

the conversations we never had,
the secrets i never told you,
the side of me you never met,

it's all surfacing now.

and it's a race against time, but you can't rush what should have been... but never was.

live free, be free

i am not that smart, but i'm done being embaressed about it,
i feel something real for someone, an odd warmth that won't go away,
and he intimidates the hell out of me, but i'm done being embaressed about it,
people murmur bullshit about me, and make up lies to entertain themselves, and overexagerrate occurences in MY life, but i'm done occupying my mind with it,

i am so incredibly young, with so much more to learn and experience and live,
i am naive, and want to see the best in people, but i'm done being embarassed about it,

i don't know what the hell i'm doing most of the time, but i'm done being embaressed about it,
i am self-concious and like it with the lights off, but i'm done being embaressed about it,

i have no idea where i'm going or what i want to do with my life,
i'm insecure,
and i'm a little dumb,
but one thing i'm not... is ashamed.

i can't recall many embaressing stories throughout my short lifetime,
i don't get embaressed too easily,
at least not in the sense you think i'm referring to.

our safety net is made of dollar bills

when the love for money blinds you,
you are done for,
and i feel sorry for you,
infact i pity you,

so here i am,
face to face with a greedy monster,
his name tag reads "hi my name is THE REAL FUCKING WORLD"

and i realize i am a blind man,
with dollar signs in my eyes,
and i am so far gone,
that i am crippled,
and my wheel chair is made of benjamin frankilns,

i say i want to do what makes me happy,
they say money will make me happy,

and i can't argue anymore.

"veni vedi VICI"

I came, and I saw, and then I took it all,
wandered the streets with nothing but 2 euros and a pack of cigarettes,
got lost in my brain,
people looked at my strange,
and i laughed behind my aviators,
because I came, and I saw, and I took it all,
74 days of a blur of monumental living,
a languid variety of encounters, goodbyes, and "finding the meaning of life" moments,
so they got on their knees and prayed for it to never end,
but i shook my head in disbelief,
because I came, and I saw, and I took it all,
and when it was all "over"..
I blew a whimsical kiss to the life I knew I would have someday,
because we came, and we saw, and our greedy little finger couldn't help but take it all.

head feels, heart thinks

a moment hatches in the core of a breath,
swimming between the crevices of a brain,
trying to find it's way out -
the memories are trapped,
a stubborn skull, laughing with malice,

"goodbye"... behind the smile, teeth are chewing on glass,
blood drips out the corner of lips during a last kiss,

a strange melange, foreign to the mind,

you keep me in -
you keep me in sus -
you keep me in suspense!

a brain coughs on the moment,
choking on it's memories,
seized within.

A Taunting Eclipse

the combination of the two was venomous,
the unforgiving herb, and liquid of divine,
provoking recognized feelings,
feelings that where meant to occur once,
once at a time,
a simple, but intriguing process,
much like the moon blotting out the sun,
cyclical, dependable, but only once a day,

but this experience differed from the rest,
tonight the moon had risen with such intensity, it feared the sun may never return,

she gasps for breath - he does the same,
absorbing life from him,
refueling her own mind,
gentle hands voyaging across a sturdy chest,
sucking enough sap to revive herself,
resuscitate and enliven until she finds a new challenge,
a new prey,
however, that night, and unexpected venom was present,
a binding venom, one that induced an excruciating sentiment,
preventing her from ending this process with another sweet victory,
hindering the sunrise,
prolonging this moment,
the moon was fastened in place,

tempting the hands to crave the same chest,
allowing it's accomplices to hunger for the same body,
longing for the same subject to enrapture,

at least long enough until the odd frenzy is terminated,
until she finds a new challenge,
a new prey,

but the venom was ever present,
and her greatest nightmare - awakened,
the new prey had become a challenge,
the sunrise was no longer a sign of victory, but rather failure,
the cyclical rules had unexpectedly changed,
now she needn't see the sun, but rather how long she could solidify the moon,
allow it to crave her, want her...

and so they only devoured each other under the moon light,
and no one knew what was to come.

desire.

That familiar conviction,
Odd yet lustful yet exhilarating

D rowning with liquor
E scalating heart rates
S moke lacing veins
I intricate fingertips, languidly dancing
R obust muscles, in need
E ager for the next encounter