alone: (adj.); without external help or participation, no other presence.

I am my own rock - solid, rigid, stiff,
resistant.

But it hurts, the discomfort of my compacted and dense physicality weighs me down,
There are a few,
a few who I may rely upon when the mass becomes overwhelming,
They chisel a pebble from my rock, and carry upon their own shoulders,
But only for a moment,
a few seconds in which I may indulge in the pressure of a lesser degree,

But the weight quickly plunges again,
and again, and again, and again,
a hammer of agonizing persistence,
striking my shoulders, sending a shockwave -
through my veins,
mini blows throughout my musculature,
it's a war to put one foot in front of the other,
each step; lethargic, prolonged... forced.

I am my own rock,
My own burden,
My own problem,
- solid, rigid, stiff.
- resistant.

i'd come running - but only 'till i get tired.

when it starts, pursue with intrigue.
when it happens, don't doubt it or over think it - become alive.
when it's happened, smile about it.
and when it's over, it's over. don't dwell on it, love it for what it was - and then leave it behind.

vivimos sin razon

My head became a playground,
Giddy, enigmatic, and ecstatic,
I have no idea what to expect,
Pero creo que ya no importa,

We dance to melodies with no meaning,
We laugh at jokes that aren’t funny,
We smile for no reason,
Pero creo que ya no importa,

Because there’s something inside worth living,
So I keep moving on, with exertion,
With hope,
Without clarity,
With a childish sense of play,
Y por primer vez, creo que ya no importa…
En este momento, nada me importa.

I wish I didn't, but I do

When the floor is taken beneath your feet
When your veins are dry of life
When the air is sucked from your throat
When your heart stops beating

Ill hold your hand with the utmost empathy

When time stops and you can’t process what’s occurring
Ill be right behind you
Because I’m the only one that knows

And when I hear your silence
Ill come running
Because I know the feeling

When I sense you’re falling
I promise not to leave

And when it becomes an unbearable memory of the past
Ill know not to remind you of it
Even if you don’t do the same for me

lacerating love

and i want to vomit all my responsibilities,
watch them float in a careless puddle on the floor,
and laugh at them,
ha!

and i want to bleed out all my hurt,
through my wrists, my eyes, my lips,
and watch as it gracefully exits me,
un, deux, trois,
au revoir!

and i want to kiss you until my lips hurt,
watch your arms reach for me,
rather than your legs walking away,
suff!
o!
cate!
me!

and i want to cut my losses,
relish in the fruits of life,
and produce a smile that just might last, for once

not present

and when my heart slows with every fleeting beat, and i'm hugging the bones in my knees,
and my cheeks are itching red with the salt of dried tears,
there's a possibility that..

and when i'm staring at the particles in the air, speaking in monotonous nonchalance,
with glassy eyes unable to focus,
there's a possibility that..

and when the color has escaped from my face,
and i'm doubled over in pain,
there's a possibility that..

and when my whole body is trembling in negative two billion degrees,
as i suck on what should've been my last cigarette,
there's a possibility that..

and when my brain is pulsing and the walls are closing and the room is spinning and there's a ringing in my head and i can't stop twitching and i'm going to vomit,
there's a possibility that something vital is missing, and i'm not quite sure what or who that may be.

dear unknown,

every morning STOP
wake up with pleasure STOP
because you are STOP
only as beautiful STOP
as you make yourself to be STOP

make every day STOP
count for something STOP
look forward to tomorrow STOP
or next week STOP
or next month STOP
but don't get too caught up STOP
in the future STOP

absorb the life STOP
from the beginning STOP
and end STOP
of every minute STOP

live your life STOP
the way you envision STOP
life should be lived STOP
do what you desire STOP
because the only person STOP
you have to answer to STOP
is yourself STOP

do not hesitate STOP
to try something new STOP
or act a certain way STOP
just because STOP
society may not STOP
approve STOP

live for yourself STOP
first STOP
and then for others STOP
second STOP

and please STOP
take everything STOP
for better STOP
or for worse STOP
as an experience STOP
worth being experienced STOP

because one day STOP
when you're not STOP
ready STOP
everything STOP
will just STOP
stop.