True Love Never Dies.

She rejected his call for the 7th time today..

"Leave me alone Chase!" she whispered to the telephone screen. Why is it that the people you most wish to keep in your past are those who insist on barging into your present? "Goddamnit, shut up already.." she murmured into space. She attempted to reset her mind by pondering on what she would do on her 17th birthday next week. Then Charlotte turned to the left and something happened. Something changed. No, everything changed. Time hung in the air as if she'd involuntarily hit pause on her remote. With a sudden glance everyone stood still, everyone but him. Ice froze over her lungs, and bolted her mouth shut. The walls of her inner throat slowly swell, and it became a battle to breathe.
His cranberry lips, his golden green eyes, his tasseled dark brown hair. He was intangible, unable to be real.
"Talking to yourself there?"
"..."
"Are you okay..?"
"..."
Charlotte became a statue much to her dismay. His lips were almost fictional. And she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away. Then she realized he'd been talking to her.
"Oh, sorry! Um yeah, talking to myself I guess. Well.. not really. Talking to my phone. I mean, I wasn't talking TO my phone obviously. Because phones can't talk. Unless, of course, there's someone on the other line, but essentially that wouldn't be talking to your phone that'd be talking to - What's your name?" she erratically interrupted herself.
"Daniel Dubois, but everyone calls me Danny." Charlotte laughed. "There's something funny about my name?" he asked with a smile. "Well not your name per se. Just your initials...Double D," she explained further "Immature, I'm sorry. I just couldn't help but notice," she said with her eyes on the pavement below. "It's okay, I used to get that a lot when I lived in Chicago," he consoled. "And what is your name?" he asked with curiosity, "Charlotte Cupp, but everyone calls me Charlie." Danny laughed. "There's something funny about my name?" she asked in the same tone Danny had before, with a crooked smile in her eyes. "Not your name per se. Just your first initial and your last name...C-Cup". "So I guess we've both got things for boobs." Charlie said without any worry of coming off anymore awkward than she'd already presented herself earlier. "I guess we do Charlie Cupp" he said matter-of-factly. Charlie nervously tugged at her wavy dark brown almost-tendrils, her hair barely reached the small of her back. For the first time since he'd spoken to her, their eyes met, and she stared at Danny with her ice blue eyes with genuine intrigue.

My God he is beautiful, she thought to herself.

* * 3 MONTHS LATER* *
They sat upon the steps of The Metropolitan and shared an orange soda. "I love you.." Danny said. Charlie replied with a kiss, a tender kiss. One of those kisses that everyone wants to experience at least once in their life. One of those kisses that you wish you could capture in a bottle and remember forever. Once of those kisses where your feel like your gliding in space, beyond the horizon. One of those kisses that send an electrical current down your spine. One of those kisses that you think about every night before you go to sleep. One of those kisses that make you feel completely and utterly infinite.
Moisture hung above their heads, and with a single droplet of water they pulled away from each other. Charlie's state of bliss was interrupted by pouring rain. All the New Yorkers and all the tourists hurriedly pulled out their umbrellas and rushed in different directions. Taxi's were being haled at every corner, and what felt like all civilization were hiding for cover. Charlie laughed very hard at this site, in fact, Charlie burst into hysteria. She got up and started to dance to music that seemingly only she could hear. Her skinny jeans were drenched, and her white button-up tee shirt was completely transparent. Her wavy hair was sticking to her cheeks and back, and she kicked off her ballet flats and just danced in such a state of euphoria. Charlie stretched her thin, pale, arms towards the sky and twirled in circles around Danny. He just sat and smiled as she whirled on the concrete steps. She grabbed his hands and pulled him to his feet, trying to make him join her. He just stood there, soaked head to toe, and laughed jovially. Charlie threw her arms around his neck and finally declared "I love you too Danny Dubois."

My God she is beautiful, he thought to himself.

* * 6 MONTHS LATER * *
"Babe, I gotta tell ya something.." Danny whispered in his bed, as Charlie lay there in a half-asleep daze. "Hmm..?" she managed to murmur. "Wake up, it's important" he said, and removed his arm from around Charlie's shoulders. Charlie sat up-right in the bed and looked at Danny with concern, he looked unusually anxious. "What's wrong?" she genuinely asked. "I don't really know how to say this Charlie...", Charlie cracked a small smile and interrupted him "well, is it going to make me less happy. Or more happy?" she looked serious. "Well.. uhh..less happy I suppose.." Danny responded, perplexed. "Then don't tell me." she simply answered with a smile and a quick kiss. Charlie then returned to sleep.
The next morning they exchanged quick goodbyes, although there was a sense of secrecy that hung in the air. Danny's hug was just a little tighter, his kiss was just a little longer, he breathed Charlie in with such intent, and when they finally pulled apart Charlie saw something in him that she'd never seen before. Hurt. Pure hurt. His eyes swam in what looked like true anguish and tumult. She was scared for him, and wished she could take away this agony. But eventually she just brushed it all off as unnecessary suspicion. She got into her car and shouted "See ya tomorrow!" out her window, but as she was driving away she glanced in her rearview mirror and could've sworn she saw a single tear trickling down Danny's face.

"Please leave a message after the beep"
"Danny, why the hell won't you answer your phone? I've called twice today."

"Please leave a message after the beep"
"This is getting ridiculous, we haven't spoken in two days. I'm really worried, please, please, I'm begging you to call me back Danny. If something is wrong, you know you can always tell me. Okay..love you. Bye."

"Please leave a message after the beep"
"That's it Danny! It's been three days and now I'm really freaking out. I'm coming over right now."

Charlie fiercely knocked on apartment 2B. "Danny? Mr. Dubois? Hello?" Charlie rushed down to the lobby, and marched right to the front desk. "Sir, do you happen to know where Mr. Dubois and his son from apartment 2B are" Charlie tried to ask as calmly as possible. "Oh, they moved out about 3 days ago honey. Mr. Dubois is the vice president of an travel agency. Him and his son move every two years or so. But this time the agency needed them to leave earlier than usual." explained the old apartment tenant. Charlie laughed a little and explained again a little louder as if the man didn't hear the first time "No, no. I'm talking about the Dubois father and son in apartment 2B." The old man smiled and said again "Yes, I know exactly who you're talking about deary.." "No, you clearly don't! There obviously is a mix-up." Charlie began to raise her voice with great irk. "Based upon your surprised reaction I'm willing to guess your miss Charlie Cupp?" the tenant asked although he clearly knew the answer. "Yes" Charlie sternly answered with clear confusion. "Mister Daniel Dubois left this for you" the sweet old man handed her an envelope with her name written in Danny's handwriting across it and serenely returned behind the front desk. Charlie began ripping it open as she walked outside. Her heart started pumping faster than usual, her knees gave in and she fell on the concrete ground sobbing. "This can't be true.." she whispered to her feet. The letter fluttered out of her hand and into the busy street. On the paper read,

"I will come back for you."

* * 2 YEARS LATER * *
"Chase stop it! You're so suspicious all the time! It's really getting ridiculous. I was only studying with John because he's in my statistics class, Jesus!" Charlie angrily explained in her dorm room at NYU. Chase and her were having one of their notoriously infamous arguments. If an entire week went by without them arguing.. something was not right. "I'm sorry baby. Just ever since you left me last time for that dumb ass, I just don't want to lose you again." Charlie whipped her head around, and her eyes began to well up as her jaw clenched. "Don't you ever! Don't you dare talk about him again! That was a long time ago, and you know just as well as I that we were through long before him." she screamed with such intensity and anger that Chase was taken back a little. "What was his name again anyway?" he tried to mask his fear of Charlie's next move. "Get out!" Charlie cried at the top of her lungs. "What??" Chase looked as if she'd asked him something completely asinine. "Get the hell out!" she was freaking out.. "Whatever Charlie.." he walked out and slammed the door behind him. Charlie dropped all her weight into the chair next to her window and a few razor tears escaped the corners of her eyes. She hated thinking about Danny. As time passed she had almost convinced herself he was a dream, a distant memory that shouldn't be spoken of. Two weeks later someone softly knocked on Charlie's door.
"Chase go away"
Knock, knock, knock.
"Chase I told you, I'm not mad. I just need some space"
Knock, knock, knock.
"What?!" Charlie flung her door open and her jaw dropped as her eyes widened.

She started breathing hard, almost hyperventilating and her hands fell to her knees. "Surprised to see me?" Danny patted her hunched back. Charlie bolted up "What the hell do you think you're doing here?" Danny's smile was quickly wiped off his face. "I said I'd come back.." he whispered with pain in his eyes. "You have no business being here." Danny looked puzzled "I thought you'd be excited to see me.." Charlie began to cry. They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Sobbing, she said "Did you think I was excited to have a goddamn stranger tell me you left!? Did you think I was excited to hear you left without saying goodbye!? Did you think I was excited when you never called..never wrote..stopped existing.." she sat on her bed, face in her hands. Danny sat next to her and put his arm on her shoulder, "I am so sorry Charlie. I thought it would be best if you just forgot all about me. Please understand -" "Don't you touch me!" she lashed out. Danny and her locked eyes, and he looked at her the same way on the first day they met right outside of Charlie's old apartment almost three years ago. And in the blink of an eye her fists melted into kisses. And her anger dissolved into tears of joy. Clothes ripped off, lay on the floor in disregard. And soon they were just a blissful pool of hands and kisses and tears.

**3 WEEKS LATER**
They lay in Charlie's bed facing each other. Danny is stroking her hair and smiling in complete silence. "Remember that one day at The Met when we were young?" he asked. "Of course I do. Why?" Charlie asked back. Before Danny could answer the door swung open. "I KNEW IT CHARLIE! I KNEW YOU WERE SCREWING AROUND BEHIND MY BACK! I KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING CHARLIE!" Chase was shaking and screaming at a frightening pitch. All of a sudden he pulled out his father's hand gun from his belt. Danny jumped up at once and stood protectively in front of Charlie. "C'mon man, put the gun down. Let's just all talk, there's no need to go and do something stupid. Just put the gun down." "SO NOW I'M STUPID?! NOW IM FUCKING STUPID? WELL I MUST BE AN IDIOT TO FALL FOR SOME SLUT!" In any other circumstance Danny would've reacted violently at Chase's degrading choice of words to describe Charlie. But considering the dilemma at hand, he masked his anger as best he could. "Chase please calm down. Let's all just sort this out.." Charlie pleaded. Chase cried in drunken tears, trembling "It's too late.." he whispered.

BANG.

Then everything was slow motion for Charlie. The next events occurred in brutal flashes.
Flash. Danny hits the floor and crimson poison starts growing and slithering through his shirt.
Flash. Chase drops the gun and runs.
Flash. Charlie scribbles down a letter in a hurried panic.
Flash. Charlie reaches for the gun.
Bang..

Now everything is pitch black.

* *ONE WEEK LATER* *

"Hello family and friends, we are all here for a common reason. To pay respects to my dearest daughter Charlotte Delia Cupp. I could stand here and lie to each and every one of you. Tell you she was murdered along with Daniel Dubois. But I don't think she would have wanted that. Charlotte's death was by choice. Both her and Daniel's dead bodies were found in her dorm room. However, the officer's found something peculiar about the placement of their corpses.. they were holding each other. But before she left us all behind, she wrote this letter and I think she would have wanted you all to hear it.."

Dear stranger,

Let me tell you a story of a boy and a girl. They fell madly in love with each other, unable to separate. But one day a bad man came..and took the boy away from her. She was only allowed one kiss before they departed. One last kiss. Except in this kiss the city submerged into flame, and sunk into the sea as it's last ashes trickled to the deepest depths of the ocean. No recollection of civilization. The golden specks in the boy's eyes turned into the sun's dust, and the girl's ice blue lips became the moon's breath. She refused to have them separated for all eternity so she picked up the bad man's filthy gun and sent herself where she belonged..with her lover. In a single second, their bones turn to dust and they melt away in each other's bodies. Their souls float away and now the boy and girl are together in perpetuity. However, they do not reside in one place. Because now, they are infinite. They are the trees. They are the sun. They are the flowers. They are the rain. Now that you know their story, please don't be sad for what I'm about to do. For I am not saying goodbye to all my family and friends, I am simply saying.. see you later. I used to think I'd be scared when my time for eternal sleep would come, but I'm not scared in the slightest. Because, while our bodies may perish, true love never dies.

Signed,
A little girl

Modern "Humor"

And the joke of it is.. We're never going to be friends again, even though I used to think you were my other half.
And the joke of it is.. You deserve her, so it's probably a good thing you left me.
And the joke of it is.. I don't enjoy your company, yet you're the only person that still seems to care for me.
And the joke of it is.. I'm the only one that sees the selfish tendencies in your selfless words.
And the joke of it is.. Everyone I know is changing.
And the joke of it is.. Maybe Im the only one changing.

And the joke of it is.. I've never once laughed at all the "jokes" above.

Freakshow.

We're just a band of outsiders trying to get in. But soon we'll stop trying, and we'll realize there's no "in" and "out". There's only comfortable. And I used to be comfortable with my dearest friends, before I knew their capabilities of abandonment. I used to be comfortable when I thought I was a nobody to people who didn't matter, and everybody to people who did. I used to be comfortable loving you, when I knew nothing could go wrong. But now you've pushed me upon unfamiliar grounds. And unfamiliar always leads to uncomfortable. Just like 2 and 2 always leads to 4. Simple as that. To take my mind off of this tumult, I dipped my toes into testy waters.

But now I fear Im drowning.

Pefect Lie.

Moving in slow motion, on the racetracks of progression,
Supposed friends only create more tension,
For they speed ahead,
oblivious to the prominent dread,
Leaving me to be recycled into the ground,
Silent anguish in enabled to make a sound,
I'd try to scream for help, but I simply don't see why,
Nothing has given me a reason for shameless drive,
An unspoken voice can never be heard,
A body that has yet to be buried cannot be disinterred,

Her corpse still walks the earth today, regardless that she's already died,
A mannequin for their blatant display - she my friends..
Is a perfect lie.

These bones turn to dust

My stomach aches, and I’ve become nauseated.
With every breath, my chest throbs again.
My eyes feel like they’re about to explode, and my cheeks are swollen.

They weren’t kidding when they said a heart can be broken.
In fact, they put it nicely.
It’s like my whole body is broken.

Glass Box.

I am a prisoner, and this glass box is my jail cell.

Paralyzed in my own skin. A tourist at my own home.
You see, the glass which traps me is so bluntly transparent that I can see others living a life in which I so desperately beg for. And the glass is thick enough so I cannot break out, but thin enough that I can hear their laughter, their pure jubilance.
Is it wrong to pray for the gift of deviance.. Is it wrong to try and hide behind this mask of jovial deceit..
Is it wrong to wish I could delude their precious vision..?
Through these damned glass walls I appear as a Saint, but Im ready to be a Sinner. Because sometimes you've got to get your hands dirty if you want a clean slate.

I am a prisoner, and this glass box is a jail cell.

Nostalgia.

I dearly miss so many things in this world.
So many days I wish I could return to; so many events I wish I could re-create.
But it seems as if nothing really compares, nothing adds up.
I once heard that memory was man's greatest gift.
I question this theory every day of my life.
What if certain memories are meant to be forgotten?

My gift is my burden. My gift is my curse.
My gift is not really a gift at all.

I miss going to school to see my friends, not going to school to be in an eternal competition of who is better. Who is more worthy. A competition where I was branded 2nd place long before the race had even started. School has morphed into a horror story. Where the halls are like hell, trying to dodge bullets and pass by unnoticed, trying to make it out alive. Good grades are no longer awarding and fulfilling..they are asshole messengers. Good grades remind me of how I must maintain them, and I don't get a pat on the back. Why, that is just uncalled for. I get a dumbfounded stare, a questioning sigh. They think I can't hear them whisper "How did SHE of all people get a better grade than me?" Frankly, I'm sick of it. I don't work my ass to the bone just to be chastised and doubted.

I miss playing the game because it was fun. Adrenaline is the best kind of high. Your heart is beating in your throat, sweat is dripping in buckets. You go for the final dive, and even the devil himself shakes in his throne as your exhausted body hits the ground with a roar. You look up to the scoreboard, you look up to your fate.
This isn't how it works now though. Not at all. We don't play, we fight. Fight for court-time. Fight for attention. FIght for the title of "the best". Fight for college scholarships. Fight for glory.
If I wanted to fight this hard, I would've signed up for boxing.

My fingers are just barely grazing my dreams.
But Im not tall enough.
Not smart enough.
Not quick enough.
Not creative enough.
Not knowledgeable enough.
Not talented enough.
NOT ENOUGH.

I miss waking up happy.
I miss trusting everyone I knew.
I miss never getting caught.
I miss not caring what others thought.
I miss knowing who the fuck I was, and what I stood for.


I hate nostalgia.
Nostalgia hates me.

"No I won't wait forever."

Every pore in my skin. screaming.
Every hair on my body. crying.

My lips dance, my fingers shake.

I want to hate with the wrath of a million sins.
Yet I still love with the affection of a million lovers.

Silenced by the angry monsters gnawing at my gut.
There's so much to say,
Unfortunately the words escaped during the dreamy hollows of sleep.

I can't say I didn't know this would happen,
because then Liar would be breached across my forehead.
I did everything I could to stop this manifesto of intangible sickness.
But even the best of doctors can't always be saviors.

My efforts were pointless,
Your complaints were damage.

Im almost ready to knock down the house we've made,
Make a new one,
Be a new person.

But I'm too fucking sick of being the landscaper.

So here are the controls,
do with them what you wish.
Make me, break me.
I could care less at this point.

But baby,
I won't be waitin' forever.





"Perfect words never crossed my mind, because there was nothing there but you."

"Not giving up till I break down"

Try and reach for the stars,
and the ceiling teases your pathetic efforts.
Chase after your dreams,
and the gravel beneath your feet will tug at your ankles and watch you trip,
wipe the blood off your bottom lip and lift your head,
just in time to see your wildest fantasies escape from your grasp.

But with great desperation
comes great motivation
and with great motivation
hope is born.

So pick your trembling body from it's ashes,
Brush the doubt off your shoulders,
Wipe hell off your lips,
Remove uncertainty from your eyes,
Spit out the feeling of insignificance that lingers on your tongue,
And obliterate every last voice that told you, you couldn't.

Silence those who said it was impossible.
Demolish the theory of unattainability.
And annihilate every last skepticism.

Because there is no room for hesitation where greatness is achieved.